why do i make my life so difficult? why not pick up something easy to go through?.. too late to regret it… i think… in fact nothing’s gonna change my present condition, and the show must go on, .. otherwise i’ll ruin everything,… after all it was my decision to leave my beloved ones, (just) to grab “master of something”, that would perhaps make my whole fam proud of me, 🙂 … which now i realize i don’t want to, .. they don’t have to either,

… know what, long time ago i was obsessed to be a star, what kind of star? i dunno,.. silly isn’t it, … it reminds me to the confession of the one (don’t remember his name) who took a shot at jfk (was it jfk or john lennon?, forgot it already) for a silly reason, to be a famous one to entire country.. yes he made it, in fact entire world noticed that. anyway, now am trying to keep my dream alive, of course not to be a like that psychopath, am taking the right side.…

thus i should never regret my own decision, it was me who decided, therefore all the consequences in the future would be mine too, for sure i will be facing them, instead of regretting what i’ve done,.. being gentle is better isn’t it, thanks to a college mate who keeps reminding me.. easy going yogi, be yourself and stay the same,.. yes i will, i won’t let my life become so difficult to go through,

finally one thing i realize, as my “bule” brother says, it takes more than one cow to make Holland!!!, you cannot have everything all at once, definitely it takes time, and everything has its own sacrifice i suppose, the episode of living in samourai island is a destiny to deal with,.. and you know what… this is my sacrifice


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